I used to have a boss that used to screw up every common expression. In his defense, he was not born in the United States...
He used to say things like:
Ain't no nothing fo free, no even lunch.
We need to literally jump through our asses on this one.
It is a big dog gentlemen, it will eat our lunch.
Then when we would laugh at his utter butchery of these common expressions, he would respond with:
You are treading the fence!