Odell, something to consider here. You've mentioned a couple times that you didn't want your wife to worry about messing around with iTunes should she opt for the iPhone.
One of the big changes with iOS 5 was iCloud. The benefit of having everything in the "cloud" was not having to mess around in iTunes at all! You can setup the phone right out of the box, no connecting to iTunes. Plus, if she did ever purchase any music on the phone, you can snag it off the cloud via iTunes and vice versa. So... really she wouldn't have to use iTunes much, if at all