zippychance

I understand roku is free and they have to make money somehow, but I've seen this sick bitch rip her cheek off for menthols 8 times already

Nice to see the penguins lining up for a handshake this time around #StadiumSeries

#thetoddshow #TeamScott

Here's to feelin good all the time

I will never understand how mad rose draws a crowd

Whoops http://t.co/YNz2yqHeWD

RT @NattyBohs: Only 40 days till Opening Day! #Orioles #Bohtimore http://t.co/3V8g3v5Pq9

White folks have no idea how to make a good burrito. That's why we have California tortilla

Got a 2 hour delay for work tomorrow. Dialing that alarm up from 345 to 545 #winning

http://t.co/jykEQ3MRJL RT @Leroy421 Won't somebody please think of the children!?!?!

RT @JimNorton: Not to speak ill of the dead, but this song fucking sucks.http://t.co/0VY4oINUP9

I wonder if I can hire the slap chop guy to go to job fairs on my behalf.

RT @OpieRadio: I believe with all my heart that we landed a space rover on John Kerry's face.

RT @AnthonyCumia: Watching Peewee's Big Adventure. Look! RIP Large Marge who died on a night, just like tonight, 40 yrs ago today. http://t…

Motherfucker... Good

I think pineapple burps are the worst kind

I'm going to take a guess as to who will be starting in Minnesota and I'm going with "not Grubauer"

THERES A JUNGLE CAT IN THE BATHROOM!

I've had enough with the football puns

There's a woman in her late 40s at Exxon that can't pump her own gas. I'd like to be kidding

http://t.co/15vOtrIvpX the most surprising thing about this is that Jesse Jackson still thinks he's culturally and socially relevant

Brothers don't shake hands, brothers gotta hug!

Now would be a good time to close up my bedroom windows, if "now" really meant 4 hours ago

Why are all the hot tubs three thousand dollars on craigslist?

Im not sure what Im looking forward to more.. driving to Merrifield, going to the post office, or making fun of @BKeat_BCM for 2 hours after