newspapercrane

I just got an email addressed "Dear (Contact First Name,". I'm very likely to respond to your personalized service.

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?

I think I'm going to spend my black friday watching blu-rays so I don't buy anymore.

This short week is already feeling awfully long...

Everything on the north side is NOT fifteen minutes from everything else on the north side.

It's like a Rubik's Cube... that's fighting back... #totallywhatbeingaprogrammerislike

In my car... It's all Rush, all the time. Except when it's not.

I'm seriously considering investing in some Junk Food Bonds. #twinkees #hohos #nosnowballs

There is a napkin in my lap right now... This place is too fancy for me.

Benefits fair at work = Swag City.

The snooze button on my alarm clock no longer functions. I'm not sure if this is a blessing, a curse, or an insult.

The instant messenger at work needs to have an emoticon for playing the world's smallest violin.

Maybe I really am from a #cornfield : Excerpt from a text message: "Sexy, Sexy corn." @syrusbliz @cobiegoesboom

I need more rock Internet radio stations, suggestions?

Fly by night: Great song, or GREATEST song?

The speed of my computer is inversely proportional to the priority of what I'm working on.

One of the worst parts about being an Adult is still buying what my mother would have, because it's what's cheap or what's on sale.

Awww he'll no... It's snowing.

Why does it surprise people when they find Pathfinder books in the back seat of my car? No, I'm not just holding them for a friend.

Whoever has the chance to proofread the next star wars movie's script. If you see the words "Gungan" or "Midichlorian" please burn it.

Is it bad that I kind of want to start sending people gift subscriptions to Cat Fancy as pranks?

Dear HTC: make sure you cup the balls.

Best fortune ever... http://t.co/Sq8YEnKr

Dear Friday, I've missed you, we should do this more often. Like two or three times a week. At least.Sincerely, Crane

Yup... It's that kind of a night. http://t.co/XN98JvbG