VEllisWade

There is something wrong when I can get more accurate news from Comedy Central than Fox News.

Just posted a photo http://t.co/UCe6ME3q

There are only a few women I would change my last name for. Mr. @KateUpton? I can do it.

Work is sooooooo slow. Time to work on Book IV.

President O is in town today? Great. Traffic nightmare incoming.

Of course you don't see it as a self-reinforcing mass delusion - you're already trapped in it.

Heat! Woooooo!

Yes, I do not want to be here today.

When the hell did JaVale McGee become an all-star center?

Your team might suck if the only consolation you can muster is, "Well, at least they didn't get swept."

Not sure what John Travolta is thinking, but when one man touches another in a sexual way, it's usually pretty gay.

Why tell your kids not to touch? We encourage touching in a store with all touchscreen phones.

NBA MVP right now: 1. @CP3 2. @KingJames 3. @KDtrey5

Ladies, men like the old fashioned Coca-Cola bottle-shaped body, not a Coke can.

Yeah! http://t.co/pVeW3167

Attention People of Earth: Videos look far better when you record in landscape. How many TVs do you see pointed vertically?

I hate CreateSpace. That is all.

#Amazon #Prime members, borrow for free! #scifi #mystery Just $4 http://t.co/oEGby7up via @amazon

Box Office: 'Avengers' has top U.S. debut ever with $200.3 million http://t.co/eJlvqmvB via @lanow

Evening twilight is almost upon us. Heh, twilight. http://t.co/8TtdXi9Q

#indie #authors unite! The ULTRA Projecr now available! http://t.co/64h5cOUW

Way too nice outside for people to be in here. At least the phone problems are outside too.

Watching @WWE SmackDown! on DVR - @TheDamienSandow just became my favorite character on TV.

Now Available! Check it out! http://t.co/XZlW2ygR

New #scifi #mystery novel on the block http://t.co/5leZcdQf #amazon #kindle Get it now!