newspapercrane

DENTAL PLAN!

"The Juggernaut Bitch" would also be acceptable.

Fission mailed.

On the L headed to see @_mcchris. MC Chris owns!

The contents of my trunk. You know... In case I need to have an emergency LAN party. Also two sets of jumper cables. http://t.co/Y8TfoQq7

Did I miss something? When did processor performance start being measured in cores?

Up yours, meatbag.

Fuck it, I'm voting for Harvey Dent. At least we know he's only lying half the time.

It's a White Stripes and B52's kind of day.

MC Escher was really just trying to draw a diagram of how to load a dishwasher properly.

Wizard world Chicago on Thursday. Imma get me a picture with Scott Bakula. Hopefully he doesn't leap before I get there.

My thoughts exactly. #DKR #Batmanfail http://t.co/BuPdstRQ via @BrowBeat

It's terrible when you have to whois your own domain to figure out who your registrar is...

The Olympics: proving that we're better than the rest of the world at sports we don't even care about.

I realize he's the God of lightning but I still think Raiden is a cheating motherfucker.

Children, Just Say No to making thermite, even though it will absolutely definitely instantly make you the most popular kid in school.

My desk is awesome today.. http://t.co/IKDp4bNi

I'm also a freelance style consultant. Seriously... Mutton chops are in.

That awkward moment when you're up wait through the commercial break only to find out that the George Lopez show is on.

Why does my smooth jazz keep getting interrupted by these conference calls?!

Life Imitating Art Imitating Life http://t.co/Kdm3uPqv via @wordpressdotcom

I wonder if I could patent the idea for creating a new patent system...

I love Dropbox because It makes my life easier! http://t.co/Nyi04XYW

I need for music... suggestions?

I need to hire someone to follow me around all of the time and remind me that Indian food is a bad idea.