newspapercrane

I think I'd rather buy a phone from the spice girls than apple. At least they'll let me tell them what I want...

May have found an apartment close to work... so long commute!

So it's agreed. After work we're going to all go out and buy cookies to keep in our desk, in case of a ninja attack.

The next time I'm in a surprise rap battle I need to use the line: "Your Jokes are like Cheetos... Dangerously Cheesy." #respect

Why yes, I do now have a strategy for eating pudding with a spork. Be jealous.

Anyone @team9000 want to play some borderlands tonight?

What a week... I've never prayed for Monday this hard in my life.

And a shoop da whoop...

BEARD, n. The hair that is commonly cut off by those who justly execrate the absurd Chinese custom of shaving the head.

Be careful what you do... because the lie becomes the truth.

Dear Borderlands 2: why can't you be today?

I just backed Electricity | The Life Story of NIKOLA TESLA on @Kickstarter http://t.co/FqV2TK4t

I'm thinking I should put a sign on my Cube that says "Peels here"... you know... just in case of the Zombie apocalypse.

You know that 10 foot pole I would't touch facebook stock with? Let's make it 20.

Kickstarter: It's like an IPO where you give out t-shirts and signed posters instead of Equity. Genius!

So that's white girl wasted... Interesting.

You know... All these years later I still keep my pimp hand strong.

I am serious, and don't call me "Maybe".

My face is cold.

Space Jam 2? I don't even care if it stars LeBron... I'd still see that shit at midnight. http://t.co/snjJNSwP

Dear @netflix please hand Joss Whedon a stack of money so we can have more Firefly episodes. Then shut up and take my $$$ Sincerely, Crane

Amazon needs to stop having pathfinder books for so cheap. #broke

Four days... let's just get through this week.

Someone mentioned Aladdin at lunch... Guess I have to listen to the soundtrack until it's out of my head. #riffraff #streetrat

I'm starting to rethink evolution... You'd think by now some of endangered animals would have developed a back mounted plasma cannon...