MarkyD311

What's a 311?

Text from unknown number: " Have you ever been raped by the devil in the pale moonlight?" WTF

The Dongleson Abides

azwethinkweiz

Watch "Rappin' for Jesus" on YouTube - http://t.co/PdMnW9L

Snow and tacos? Talk about a good day

Not a good pic because it's dark, but we now own this dude. 2014 Mazda CX-5 Grand Touring. http://t.co/AtZkfom

Buying a new car, take 2.

Ever catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, and it just ruins your day? -Jim Gaffigan

Home Depot is awfully helpful! http://t.co/x9AkeWc

Wisdom from my 6 year old: don't eat yellow snow unless you think wiener lemonade is tasty.

I just bought my wife a new car. Oops.

Breaking strings on my Cello is so metal

Aerial view of the employee garden where I grow my inferno peppers: http://t.co/l6u97Oq

Just act natural... http://t.co/e5Ihit4

everyone send love and happy vibes to the very awesome @jennm311 please.

My butthead spawn is spending the afternoon in the principal's office for shoving food in a kids face. WTF dude?

Sriracha popcorn is amazeballs. http://t.co/da9xcb5

There's only one person who can call me Darky Meat and get away with it!

Totally stoked to go snow sledding on the @311cruise - I've always wanted to go on a cruise to Alaska!

IDGAF about the Super Bowl, but I'll take any excuse I can get to make a plethora of wings. Homemade wing sauce FTW

It is going to be interesting trying to stay awake on the cruise. I'm old and in bed by 10 every night.

I am an ally. http://t.co/K7WJqgI

Go home Commissioner, you're drunk! http://t.co/xPoflnr

Thanks to @citrix for the delicious lunch today.