sbolen

"It was legendary." - Something that was actually said by a human about a spelling bee in Missouri...http://t.co/qUKStlOHU1

"Let's follow up that brain-dead challenge with a jump ball into double coverage. That would be dank af." - Pete Carroll

"Nice try, Apple, but Apple Music doesn't resonate with me." - a sign you may be the edge case

"Now this is podracing!" UGH.

"Parents of little ones: there are three high chairs. They're all new and very cle..." @ Southwest Diner: http://t.co/J69IqZE9EC #foursquare

"Played" "40" RT @StLouisBlues: We’ve played 40. #OurBlues #stlblues http://t.co/HbgRsCa66l

"Rare plant may increase muscle growth over 600% -- but is it an unfair advantage?"I dunno. That bro is pretty cut. Pecs don't lie.

"Shoveling snow is for chumps & losers" would be a way more effective slogan for Road Runner brand Ice Melt.

"The Dow is down over 300 points. Is this because of Ebola?" - the Whiz-bang anchor at @cnn

"The Galaxy S5 blends iconic Samsung design with modern trends to appeal to a range of consumer tastes and interests." LOLOLOLOLOLOL

"Today is a perfect day for the zoo!"- everyone in St. Louis

"Uncle Jesse, you fool! Jet fuel can't melt steel beams! Wake up!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"I'LL SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE: HERE'S A FUN-SIZED MILKY WAY.

"Your handwriting becomes progressively worse the more fields you fill out in a multi-page, hand-written form." - Bolen's Law

“@TheNineNetwork: A murder at a London jazz club is investigated. Tune in for #GrantchesterPBS at 9pm on #ninePBS.” Jazz is the victim.

“BASERUNNING ERROR. TIME TO BAT THIS KID TWELFTH.“ - Matheny, probably

“I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of elbows suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.” #stlcards

“Samsung Galaxy S5 to Include Home Button with Integrated Fingerprint Sensor” #innovation #tryingsohard http://t.co/ZeyGhyQp2E

“Swipe right to dismiss this amber alert.” Uhhh...

“THE PASS BOUNCED OFF MY FINGERS AND I WAS HIT AFTERWARDS. WHERE’S MY PI FLAG?!” - Every WR today

“The Super Villain run ‘em like Hamburgular, robble-robble.”

“Toronto is just like New York… Without all the stuff!”

“We need you to go out to dinner and drinks tonight with a candidate we’re considering.”“Oh, ok. Where?”“Brasserie.”It’s hard work, guys

“Why doesn’t the Apple Watch have a cellular radio?“Who wants a data plan for a watch? Anyone?

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