Turns out recent connectivity issues (15 towers are down in the area for UPGRADES) but the customer service reps couldn't just come out and tell me that.
One of them wanted me to wipe my phone while I was at work and do a full restore, and even got belligerent with me because I couldn't. I wasn't at home near my laptop, itunes, contacts etc. And not near wifi so I couldnt backup to iCloud.
Really ridiculous that I had to escalate it three times over three days to get a real answer.
All they had to say was tower work with an ETA of being finished on 3/17.